How often should we think about a turkey dinner? This is the question that has been eating at my soul for the better part of a week. I know its typical for people's mouths to start watering like a leaky raincloud around Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I've hit an avian/potato/stuffing/cranberry/green bean/GRAVY low. I have this urge to hit the nearest provider of hypodermic needles, only to load up and shoot that sweet, sweet turkey gravy right into my arm. It sounds like a metaphor, but believe me, I'm going to fill my veins with the stuff. My dreams are filled with steaming plates of faceless turkey, taunting me, as if to say, "you will never have this, you will never have this" with an incessant Borat accent.