DAY 29: Every day is a good day for burnt toast

People tend to think that burning a piece of toast, much like burning a bridge in a relationship, is a bad thing. The problem with this train of thought is that a piece of toast has very little in common with a relationship, giving it a whole different set of traits. For one, toast is rough and crunchy, often determined by the heat level at which it was toasted. Although relationships do sometimes involve "heat" it isn't necessarily the type to assist in reaching the perfect golden brown. I personally believe there are many positives to burnt, albeit only slightly, toast and the intense flavor that comes along with it. You can throw some jam on there or peanut butter and nanners. You can scrape the burn off onto vanilla ice cream and it'll taste like a chocolatey bowl of wonderful. You can use it to distract pidgeons from dropping bombs on your freshly cut hipster hair at a park of your choosing in the NY metro area. You can even, and I don't necessarily recommend this, use your toast as bread based ninja stars (they're actually called shuriken but you can ignore this) to be thrown at street rats in an attempt to behead them as they exit the dungeon we call the subway, undoubtedly searching for, well, absolutely anything edible. You see, there are many uses for burnt toast, and it is most definitely not a bad thing. Try it for yourself. You won't be disappointed. If you are, however, refer to my last point and join our rapidly expanding extermination squad. They call us the "Breadwinners." Doesn't make a whole lotta sense, on account of the fact that we don't get paid, but I'm not here to argue. Lets clean up these streets with some toast!