DAY 168: Autobiography?

Everyone deserves to have one of their own, right? Well, not everyone has the money to get a writer to sit down and hear about their life story which is probably not that exciting if you didn't live it yourself. This is the very reason I strongly believe everyone should just write a Biography. Even if you're a shitty writer, I have this theory that when people tell their own stories, they have an angle of attack that couldn't be established any other way. No excuses, write your own story.

DAY 167: Swell

Water is an important factor in terms of reaching peak happiness. You might think coffee alone can propel you into a smiley day, but that is simply not the case. Everyone knows were pretty much just a walking piece of citrus fruit without the sweetness; cells full of liquid, somehow being contained. Do I understand it? Hell no. Do I accept and embrace it? Hell ya. Sip some cloud pee, people, you'll be better for it.

DAY 166: Hoobadie-haa-blah-hoo-bloo

Every day is a battle, when it comes to words. Deep in the trenches, a man sits trembling, breath heavy and hot. The darkest blood-spatter lay, as if precisely placed, on paper consumed by ink and hand. The story had only been half written, but the soldier's sight reached much shorter than expected. While sounds flew past his head, he struggled to load his weapon, leaving him at far greater risk of failure. Somehow, the soldier instinctively knew what lay ahead, and the successes that would be. So, in that moment, he went forth.

DAY 165: Gimme...

...clothes, shoes, brews, and a solid crew to kick it with and I will be a happy man. When you've been deprived of copping new gear for an extended period of time simply because you're keeping your paycheck in check, the not-so-subtle itch to buy, buy, buy, begins to reach your soul. My soul is itchy, people.

DAY 164: Jammers

Kool-aid Jammers were the shit. I'm really not sure if they're still around, or if they even should be, but those were real AF. Remember on hot summer days when you would poke one of those yellow straws into that oddly shaped plastic drink bag and fall into complete and udder bliss. CapriSun did it first, for sure, but nothing beats Kool-aid, so take that however you want.

DAY 162: Oats 'n Honey

The land of Milk and Honey is old news. Nature Valley knows the future, and the future is granola. Granola AS FUCK. I'm talkin' Oregon Farm-raised, Organic, Free-range, Non GMO, BPA free, granola. If there was a festival to celebrate this bar, it would be Granola Fest 2018 and it would be Lit. Everyone would be naked, sporadically dancing like hippies in the sun, with absolutely no reservations. Bet you didn't know Nature Valley packed such a punch, huh?!

DAY 161: GRAPHICS!!!!!

Don't you love learning about graphics cards? How about writing about them? I just can't get enough of those GRAPHICS!!!!!! On the real though, I downloaded and attempted to play Fortnite on my Macbook. Complete failure on account of the shitty graphics card. I guess they're actually important. Who woulda known?!

DAY 160: Rare Chandeliers

Someday the house my family sleeps in will be adorned in rare chandeliers. They will have infinite crystals, and looking away will not be an option. People will sit around the dinner table silently, simply because they are wide eyed, as if mesmerized, sucked deep into the gleaming light of the crystal chandelier.

DAY 158: Snickers

The real problem with their commercials is that grabbing a snickers is not so easy as previously thought. First, there must be a snickers in your presence. Second, the temperature must be ideal. Too cold and your just physically uncomfortable, too hot and the bar feels like an overripened banana. 

DAY 156: Bread

I like making it, I like eating it, I even like smelling it. There are so many types and styles. If its a carb, you can probably make bread out of it. All time favorite: San Francisco Sourdough. BBQ favorite: Potato buns. You don't have to eat it, but you still gotta love it.

DAY 154: Jimothy

When I think Jimothy, I think "Jim from The Office." It's the combination of Timothy, a very tender, childish name, and Jim, a very bland, workplace dweller type of name. When combined, much like the Powerpuff girls, they create something intriguing, a name that demands attention. Jimothy may be the future of baby names.